Do you have a dream? Are you in a relationship? Well, the two aren’t always considered compatible pursuits. If you’re like me, then you have asked yourself the question, “is being in a relationship holding me back from my dreams?”
The answer may well be yes.
But no, this isn’t a story about how I dumped my boyfriend in order to pursue my dream of being a best-selling author. That would be tragic because my boyfriend of nearly three years is perfect, and I plan to be with him forever.That being said, being in a relationship can really hinder your pursuits. If you were single, you’d be free to do that big move to L.A. to become an actor; or relocate to China as a journalist; or quit your job to go back to school to become a teacher. When you’re in a relationship, though, every decision you make can become a two-person job.
That being said, being in a relationship can really hinder your pursuits. If you were single, you’d be free to do that big move to L.A. to become an actor; or relocate to China as a journalist; or quit your job to go back to school to become a teacher. When you’re in a relationship, though, every decision you make can become a two-person job.
I remember conversations with my boyfriend about jobs, books, and education. We wanted to move-in together, but if I was a part-time worker/starving artist, that made it very difficult. See how my dream-chasing choices were affecting him and our life together? Yeah, I bet a lot of you feel that way, too.
Well, this is how I started to make chasing my dream and having a relationship work for me and what I suggest you try, too:
- Speak to your partner about your dream, whether it’s an old one or a new one. If they can’t understand it, that is a big red flag. If they do, perfect.
- Create an action plan for pursuing your goal so that your partner can see what you intend to do and how it may affect them.
- Reduce the amount of pointless time you spend with your partner. If you live together, this can be easier but if you don’t, like me, this can be hard. Instead of meeting up every night or all day every day and doing nothing – do something! You can be with your partner and do something towards your dream at the same time. For example, I write and do research whilst my boyfriend is with me.
- If you need to relocate for your dream, do your research. A lot of it! Get a presentation together to show your partner. Explain why you need to relocate, what you plan to do, how your partner can thrive overseas, too, and have a plan for how you can survive there together. This will help them make your dream their dream, too.
- Get your partner to see how happy it will make you to achieve your dream, and what benefits it will bring the both of you.
- Lastly, get them to be your number one fan. Have them encourage you, motivate you, and help you keep on track. The more you speak about your dream with them, the more they’ll understand and get on board.
- Oh, and bonus idea, help them realise they have dreams, too. Be supportive of their dreams and help them towards theirs, that way you’re both motivating and pushing one another towards the top!
When you feel like your relationship is hindering parts of your dream, or vice versa, take a step back and analyse the situation. Is it you? It is them? Is the relationship wrong? Is the dream wrong? What could you do better? There is a way to be in a happy, healthy relationship at the same time as having a dream – just know how to find the balance.